


Under the Circumstances

by fastdaydreams



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Angst and Feels, Boss/Employee Relationship, Crying, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-07-15 16:06:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16066601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fastdaydreams/pseuds/fastdaydreams
Summary: Some podiums broke the sharp tension. But, it rises to a point where Kimi feels the ground disappearing, and everything changing.





	1. Hockenheim

**Author's Note:**

> Set between 2018’s Germany GP and 2018’s Italian GP. Not every Grand Prix on this interval is mentioned.

After the champagne poured, Kimi touched the red overalls, wet from sweat, rain and expensive beverage.

Under a grey sky, back to the place that mistreated him for the thousandth time. The faster his steps went, the slower the trajectory seemed.

Close to the motorhome, a big yet delicate hand gripped Räikkönen’s neck.

“Kimi”, Maurizio shyly started as the younger turned around. “Grande lavoro”

Eyes already blurred, he bluntly replied.

“Grande lavoro that you did for someone else”

Arrivabene sensed it would be useless arguing in public, so he watched the Finnish run through his fingers.

Finally inside the motorhome, hot water embraced the naked body.Warm tears camouflaged. Not attempting to suppress them, he contemplated the emotional overflow.

A mix between remorse and guilt haunted Maurizio's head after the few words given to the press. Marchionne’s departure, the team orders Kimi’s disappointment, Sebastian’s mistake… 


	2. Hockenheim, at night.

In the backseat, Kimi was drawing circles on the car window. Neon lights illuminated the raindrops. Closing the eyes, Räikkönen felt his own audition slightly clogged, listening to the engine purring.

Maurizio sighed whilst rested the forehead against the glass. Looking to opposite sides, the particular driver shouldn't have a clue of what was really going on. They didn't exchange a single word inside the opulent car.

When the pair arrived at the hotel, the back doors unlocked, Arrivabene searched for a way to match the younger’s velocity without looking like a persecution. They crossed the lobby, almost boarded the elevator together.

Almost.

Kimi stepped in first, provocatively glancing at the older man. Raising one arm, he pushed the button, not leaving space for two.

“Hey, please don't close…”

The last thing he heard consisted of a ping that abruptly made the Finn disappear.

“...the door. _Cazzo_ ”. The Italian hissed out of frustration. The destiny made sure their rooms were right in front of each other, so he sent a reminder.

“You can't run from me forever”

Then, his heart skipped more beats when the reply immediately came on the smartphone.

“At least I'm trying” __


	3. Spa Francorchamps

A month, amounts of untasteful events resting on their tongues.

Maurizio knew trouble was bound to happen as soon as the million dollar car stopped right on front of him, due to mechanical problems.

He watched Kimi leaving the cockpit, without a sound. But the silence resonated louder than a thunderstorm.

(...)

Late at night, Mauri forgot some of his pride to knock on someone else's door.

“Let me in”, the older politely asked outside the dormitory.

Christian Horner passed him on the corridor with the usual snobbishness, possibly finding the situation strange.

_“Per favore”_

Kimi nodded, too tired to argue, but too awake to forgive.

Allowing him to enter the room, without a disguise to swollen eyes, clearly from excessive crying.

Sincerely worried, Maurizio let the guard down, not because the common sense told it would be easier, but for a consequence of good education.

“Kimi, I'm so sorry…”

Emotionally drained, the younger hasn't made any room for apologies, still affected by previous happenings.

“Miss me with the bullshit”

Lowering the head, the blue eyes faced his own feet. Tears naturally fell, along with confessions.

“The pressure is always on me, too old, too this or that…”

Gently lifting Kimi’s face by the chin, he wiped the liquid running on his cheeks. In vain, there were more falling.

“We’re under pressure. But we can't let this ruin our love”

Doing a strangled sound, Kimi simply accepted, slave to the feeling. He stood up, gently moving forward.

Tempted yet careful with the other's feeling, he ponders, firmly holding the shorter in a hug, without any explanations.


	4. Italy, Sunday.

“We chose to sign with Charles…”

The six words are dropped like a bomb, erasing the perfect Saturday, crashing his red dreams. So, he breaks a historic record of the fastest lap ever and this is how the team pay him? Ungratefully?

Part of him tried to convince that the responsible for the pathetic decision wasn't the team principal. The other part blamed everything on his incapacity of avoiding being bossed by a previous president.

It's not like he signed without understanding how the internal policies work. But, the optimistic side never previewed such a scenario.

“I'm an employee just like you. And if I don't follow orders, I can be fired too”

Painful tears leave the very blue eyes, and Kimi can't help himself, recalculating the season as a whole, reevaluating where exactly he caused the switch.

For some minutes, Räikkönen’s mind drifts away, replaying previous facts, not necessarily related to the racing world.

_“I'll never leave you. Never”_

_“Not even when I'm older and I start to screw up my races?”_

_“Haven't I said never?”_

Which sounded like a couple of minutes, became fast forwarded.

During the day, Kimi had those daydreams, confused if he actually had the decisive dialogue, or just a terrible nightmare.

Avoiding the dangerous brown eyes, the silver hair, the perfume, the Finn realized there weren't many options, besides believing the strategists, engineers, everyone outside the car dressed in scarlet colors.

(...)

Again, trusting a pitlane that fucked him mercilessly.

The night took years to come, accordingly to the one time world champion’s thoughts.

Tonight, the air thickened, making it hard to fill the lungs. A lump inside the throat. Eyes overflowing. Nose running. The undesirable sensation of Earth rotating on a slower velocity.

Again, entering the other's hotel bedroom, heartbroken. Succumbing between the older’s arms, loudly weeping. Shushing his boyfriend, the Italian silently drops a few tears, complacently muttering.

“I’m sorry, not your fault, not your fault…”

The more those explanations came, the stronger Kimi gripped Mauri’s cardigan, too scared to let all of that behind, like a helpless child.

However, when their eyes meet up, the consolation turns into affection, putting both in a trance. Fingertips fondling every wrinkle, every birthmark, lips touching unsaid words, flaming lust...

Their hazy love took new route.

The mystery remained in how hard business affected sweetness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the hits and kudos. It means everything :) 
> 
> Side note: If Maurizio ever dated Kimi, I'd ask to watch while eating sushi

**Author's Note:**

> This is only a creation of my fertile imagination. I don't own anyone mentioned here. I don't profit financially from it. No copyright infringement intended.


End file.
